Posts Tagged ‘factors affecting communication’

Interpersonal Communication Barriers – Do You Have a Problem?

Monday, April 12th, 2010

To start at the blunt end of communication problems obviously if a relationship with others is desired it will be very difficult if the other party uses a tactic of total withdrawal by refusing to engage in any interpersonal contact. This is a blatant act that is easy to recognize and can be virtually impossible to overcome. There are however many other less obvious indications that reveal that our interpersonal communication or efforts to form relationships with others are not succeeding.

Many connections or interactions are not much more than rituals which are just “meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact”. If you find that each interaction with another individual always seems to be nothing more than a polite conversation that is just following an almost rehearsed script you are obviously not really communicating or building a relationship. These situations are often built around “pastimes that fill up time with others in social, however superficial activities”. A more dangerous scenario is when these ritualized interactions become the sum total of our ‘working activities with all tasks strictly following the rules and procedures of contact and nothing more’.

As humans are political animals by nature there will always be the risk (or opportunity) for the communicators to be plying games which are usually “subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing”. If those around you are engaging in game playing fruitful communication and the chances to build any meaningful “closeness” is unlikely.

Maybe your communication problems are in part due to your body language or your facial expressions however they are topics for another day.

So where do you start to build your skill to become a more effective communicator. I still find that if you can be brutally honest with yourself  a reflection on how you behave with others based on the old however still valid JOHARI WINDOW model can give you some insights. A better road if you can stand it is to have your friends or colleagues assess you based on the model.

For a quick look at your style are you fond of using any of the following tactics during interactions with others?

1. Attacking -interrogating, criticizing, blaming, shaming or scoffing

2. Being overly reliant on “You Messages” – moralizing, preaching, advising, diagnosing or talking about you and what you have done or achieved.

3. Showing your actual or perceived power with most your communication taking the form of orders, threats, commands or giving directives

4. Falling victim to other verbal barriers can including poor use of tone, shouting, name calling, verbal abuse, berating or even pouting and refusing to speak.

We need to remember that if any of these undesirable verbal tactics are used trust will be lost and no real interpersonal relationships will be formed.

Before I finish direct page viewers can go to main blog to check out other posts by clicking on the white “orglearn.org” in the header panel above!

While you’re here take a look at the free blank resume form!

Finally: For effective communication to occur it must be two way, involve active listening, ‘reflect the accountability of speaker and listener’, utilize feedback, be free of stress and of course be clear and concise. The basic requirement for good communication is perhaps to develop a “closeness” with others that is built on open communication, mutual respect and above all trust.

refs:

wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_overcome_communication_barriers

www.coachingachievement.co.uk/overcoming_communication_barriers

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Posted in building trust, career advice, career survival, customer satisfaction, human relations, life skills, politics at work, selling skills, success, trust | 2 Comments »

Factors affecting communication and communication’s pivotal point!

Friday, December 18th, 2009

A pretty standard list of communication barriers usually includes such items as:

• unclear or incomplete messages
• jargon or words with multiple interpretations
• disabilities and other impediments
• age, gender or sexual orientation
• relative status or respect for the sender
• lack of empathy or concern
• stereotyping or prejudice
• conditions or distance
• lack of time or other pressing priorities
• poor spelling inaccurate sentence structure
• personality traits and levels of EQ

What I believe is the the major cause of communication breakdown is our poor listening skills. Lets face it most of us are eager to answer or comment on a message and are often busy preparing our response to the first part of a message even before the sender finishes transmitting. This propensity we all seem to have is a result of our natural and evolved need to quickly assess our situation (fight or flight response) and also the brains ability to fill in the missing bits to make orderly sense of our environment.

Now to over come this central barrier is no easy task and it will take constant and conscious practice to achieve this feat. Recent studies show that the brain’s plasticity means that strong neural networks are built up over time and that they basically hijack how we behave even before we become consciously aware of how we are reacting to a particular situation. If for example you have a very talkative friend who has bored you senseless in the past there is a fair chance that not much more than an automatic yeah yeah will be going on in your head.

So how do you teach yourself to listen and absorb (even to people you may have found boring in the past) what may be very useful information. Well some tell me I am a fairly abrupt person and perhaps one of the reasons is that I either tell or sell the other party on how to speak to me so I can listen more effectively. For example I have one friend that I just say to “you talk to much, slow down take a break and let me think about what you have said”. If the person jumps in again I just talk over them until I have finished my point.

Now what I have suggested above is considered as pretty rude however my friend is being trained on how I need to be treated if he wants to communicate with me. I may lose a friend however what value is a friend who prattles on in your ear at every opportunity and just wants to dominate every situation.

Obviously this technique wont work with say your boss however the principle is correct. You can train bosses to give you information in lumps you can digest and at a speed you are comfortable with. The two best methods for doing this are asking questions which shows interest, slows down the prattle, gives direction and helps you build the information you need from the conversation. Remember the person who asks the questions controls the conversation.

The second great technique is to summarize what the other person says. This also shows you are listening (and forces you to do so), builds empathy and helps you control the rate at which the sender is transmitting information. A great way to do this is to say “just to confirm that I have got you meaning can I just summarize your points so far”.

The other point is to resist the temptation or habit of preempting what the other person is saying and being patient enough until they finish speaking to ensure you are getting the whole message. Stop just hearing, plotting a response and blabbing out some verbal garbage. If you practice waiting you will develop a different neural network pattern that will assist you in becoming a better communicator.

So if you want to improve your listening skills and hence your communication skills next time you’re in a conversation say to yourself… “wait – focus – summarize – question”. It is also as you are practicing these skills to take notes for important conversations.

Two other things; it usually doesn’t hurt when talking to others to tell them your working on improving your communication skills and secondly to let them know how or by what method you are going about it.

Interpersonal relations and how we communicate with those around us are the most important facets of our existence. Therefore I repeat… if you want to succeed as a human being this effort to learn a ‘new’ way to communicate, as difficult as may be, is still a most worthwhile enterprise.

Ric (orglearn) **Link for direct page viewers return to main career success blog to check out other posts!

Communication factors never going to improve with your boss? Time to communicate with someone more receptive? Take a look at the free blank resume form!

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OUR ABILIY TO COMMUNICATE NEGATIVE FACTORS PART 2

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

To continue on with our ability to communicate here are some specific RECEIVERS barriers

HEARING WHAT YOU WANT OR EXPECT TO HEAR – a conflict between the intent of the sender and the interpretation of the receiver. The forces within the sender play an important part in this breakdown, if we are expecting to hear bad news as in the “come to my office first thing Monday” scenario above we may react to what we thought was going to happen rather that what we actually are told.

UNWILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT FACTS – especially those that disagree with our preconceptions about a situation, person or they we either they or we have of way of doing things.

EVALUATING THE SOURCE – the identity of the sender poses some questions. Is s/he acceptable to the receiver? Is s/he a reliable source? What is the relationship between the sender and the receiver? Will you respect a message from a boss more readily than a colleague from another department?

DIFFERING PERCEPTIONS – words, actions and events are perceived in the light of the receiver’s individual values and environmental pressures. Differences in academic levels, religious beliefs, customs and traditions are also responsible for differing perceptions.

DIFFERENCE IN STATUS – the ultimate success or failure of an interchange depends on whether the supervisor – subordinate relationship has been established and whether the status arrangement is accepted by either or both individuals and to some extent even other parties.

SENDER NOT SAYING IT RIGHT – different words mean different things to different people. The meaning varies with age, local/foreign and the relationship between communicators as I mentioned earlier. Watch out for the jargon, abbreviations and acronyms, if they are thrown at us sometimes we let it slide because we don’t want to be seen as unknowing or dumb. As a receiver of a message we must seek clarification on the spot. Negative or inflammatory word/statements and the use of a harsh tone or aggressive body language can also bring about negative reactions and cloud the message and the receiver’s ability to comprehend the substance.

ASSUME TOO MUCH – senders tend to take things for granted or think that others can read their minds. At times they are influenced by hearsay and generalization and they tend to jump to conclusions. Often when as some call it they have ‘light ears” a sender can be governed by spin rather than facts and of course so can we be as listeners.

EFFECTS OF EMOTION – whatever emotion dominates our mood – anger, fear or even happiness – will affect our interpretation of a message. Recent studies show that an individual in love will see the entire world as positive and lovable.

INCORRECT FILTER – in order to function effectively, as receivers we must “filter out” many of the messages (clutter) received in a day. No person could respond to every sound or gesture even if s/he were aware of all of them. Sometimes, in the process of filtering out the irrelevant CLUTTER the relevant is also lost

Ric (orglearn) While you’re here take a look at the free blank resume form!

ps Based on an old however still relevant training material original list source unknown.

* Link for direct page viewers return to main career success blog to check out other posts!

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FACTORS NEGATIVELY IMPACTING OUR ABILIY TO COMMUNICATE PART 1

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Factors affecting how we communicate with others as “SENDERS” and “RECEIVERS” (the judgments we often make usually unconsciously) and some potentially damaging self talk..

Individual differences – “he’s very young, must be a bit stupid and inexperienced better explain this slowly two or three times”

Cultural differences – “she’s an accountant bean counter, this will be difficult, she just won’t understand our sales culture, she’ll probably just be interested in the marketing cost analysis” or where I’ve worked “all expats are arrogant” versus “all ‘locals’ are stupid, slow and lazy”

Attitudes about the message or the other person – “do I really have to tell this overbearing financial controller that we need the purchase order for another computer signed urgently?”

Stereotyping – “all good looking young females are really blond’s inside regardless of their hair color” or… “silly old guy he won’t be able to grasp what a young guy like me is on about, he must be a bit slow”

Values – “salespeople just don’t understand, anyone that’s not an engineer who understands our production methods and the design process we’ve been through just won’t get it and aren’t worth explaining it to anyway – salespeople are just talking heads”

Assumptions about what the other person knows, thinks, feels or has heard – “this is going to be bad, I’m sure the boss knows about the accident best get into defensive mode he’s going to hit the roof” or if the boss says to you late Friday afternoon “I want you in my office first thing Monday morning Fred – important” what sort of weekend are you going to have and how will you approach the what and how of what you may have to say.

The location and the environmental noise – “what… who won the F1 world championship, Lauder… what… WHO WON THE…” yes its an old joke. Just be aware of your surroundings when you are trying to deliver a message

Way in which the message is sent – “now remember this ’cause I don’t have time for an email, there are one million two hundred and sixty three thousand four hundred and nine widgets stuck in fifteen trucks at port, with our shipping order numbers 11168 thru 11199 excluding 11172 which is replaced by 11289a and I need them now, every on accounted for and logged with the number sheets, so get onto it and Call Harry, his number’s with my secretary”

Age – Generation – “XY & Z and all that other nonsensical rubbish, people are people and you cannot attribute ability to communicate based on supposed generational norms or preferences. You do have to understand though that ‘cool’, ‘unreal’ and ‘sick’ can mean different things to different age groups.

Sex – well you know how that works, dumb smart arrogant pushy confident and all that other equally stupid stuff

Obviously much of what I have listed above also affects the way we ‘listen’ or how we act as receivers.

Ric (orglearn) While you’re here take a look at the free blank resume form!

ps Based on an old however still relevant training material original list source unknown.

* Link for direct page viewers return to main career success blog to check out other posts!

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