The approach to selling the ads on site was to visit each business personally and ask if they would place an ad. Some success was quickly achieved and a number of advertisers came on board. Now the site being both fairly new and by its charity nature cannot and will not boast masses of visitors. The  members of the club however will tend to support the businesses that support them, that’s just human nature. Additionally of course some advertisers view it as good PR to support a local charity and will see the cost of their ad as a donation to a worthy cause.

So what about the no. A number of businesses approached used the old “send me a proposal” fudge to get me out of their face. Now that’s fine I am happy to go back write an email to thank them for their time, thank them for seeing me and thank them for considering advertising and for looking at my proposal. It would however save me a lot of time if they just said “no” on the spot.

So now as a seller and more to the point a potential ‘real’ business customer, my feeling towards those businesses is a little negative. One business said no immediately and although we had used his services for a long time and was a little annoyed, at least he did not suck up extra energy by stringing me along by asking for a proposal. He just stated honestly he was “fully committed at the moment” and could not participate. It is worth noting, I am not talking big money here, the advertising space is only $10..00 per week on the index page and $5 a week on the ancillary pages.

This brings me back to the four other businesses which said, send me the submission. Some three weeks later I have not had a response from any of the four. I feel abused and angry at the discourtesy of these business people and will not do business with them in the future. I will also discourage others to avoid them as well. Who knows why these particular people couldn’t say NO, however in doing as they did they have, at least with me and those I can influence, destroyed their reputation and any chance of commercial dealings in the future.

So why don’t people say no?

According to authors  James Rapson and Craig Enlish who wrote “Anxious to Please” many individuals are: “people pleasures” by nature.

They state:

“People pleasers are driven by anxiety to be nice whether it’s called for or not. People pleasers are nice even when they’re being ignored or insulted. People pleasers navigate their world by accommodating and acquiescing, by trying to please.”

They also importantly advise:

“What is the result of their can’t say no, “peace at any price” behavior? The opposite of what they hoped for— disapproval,  conflict, and  rejection.” This outcome of their behavior is I believe well deserved. People pleasers are obviously also conflict avoiders and to my way of thinking somewhat cowardly in their dealings with others. None of us like a no however, most of us absolutely hate being ignored and forgotten.

So what’s the lesson? If you can’t do something, suck it up and just say NO. Wasting the time of others through fobbing them off with a “send me a proposal” tactic is crass and un-businesslike. Making a bad situation worse by then just ignoring the asker/seller is a great way to destroy your reputation and credibility and you WILL deserve all the negatives that result,

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HABIT 1: Delegate don’t abdicate… when giving tasks to ‘subordinate’ staff, we need to maintain responsibility for the result (the thing many of us want the least), whilst giving away our authority (the thing many of us want the most). In other words, effective managers don’t ‘forget’ about the task, they follow up to see the desired result is achieved.

HABIT 2: When instructing others confirm understanding by soliciting feedback… the worst three words ever spoken at work are, ‘DO YOU UNDERSTAND’, 99% of the time to save face the person will answer yes. We should ask the person being instructed to repeat the instructions in their own words to ensure our meaning has been understood.

HABIT 3: The 80/20 principle, 80% of business usually comes from 20% of our customers… wisdom suggests sales staff should be coached to focus 80% of their (and our) attention on the top 20% of the company’s customers.

WE DO ALL THIS DON’T WE… OF COURSE… AND SO DO OUR MANAGERS…

HABIT 4: Before answering staff questions, ask them to suggest a solution to the problem… if staff are encouraged to offer their suggestions true mentoring/coaching can begin, plus it’s a good way to find new approaches to solving old problems.

HABIT 5: Allow staff to make and learn from mistakes, (within reason)… by allowing mistakes and then coaching to improve performance, ‘subordinates’ will be more willing to take responsibility. A common tendency to ridicule or ‘hit’ those who make mistakes is a major reason for the failure of many empowerment programs.

HABIT 6: Manage the in-tray using the “three pile” method, 1 ‘must do now’, 2 ‘not urgent but important’ and 3 ‘l will get to it next week’. Then assume there is no: 2 and place contents into 1 or 3… then bin / trash the 3 pile, (or have it filed… if you must). Immediately take at least one positive step on each task in the 1 pile… respond, instruct, seek clarification, or delegate.

HABIT 7: The 20/80 principle, 20% of our staff will produce 80% of our results… we should try to avoid the natural tendency to spend the bulk of our time ‘fixing’ our poor producers. Time is better spent supporting the top producers, who, because of their competence, are often left to their own devices (and can then feel unnoticed and unappreciated).

HABIT 8: View traditional company procedures as ‘a guide for the wise and as rules for fools’ In the current complex and fluid climate being flexible and adaptable, rather than rigidly following ‘the system’, means we may well benefit if we are prepared to modify ‘the rules’ and take a different course to the norm, (easily said but hard to do).

HMMM… NOW WHERE DID I LEAVE THAT COMPANY PROCEDURES MANUAL…

HABIT 9: When delegating agree (rather than set) deadlines… if we don’t agree a deadline we run the risk of getting a, ‘I haven’t had time yet’. By agreeing a deadline the other party has to be up front about their current workload and will have little or no excuse for not performing the task allotted.

HABIT 10: Check progress… confirm progress on tasks delegated to staff or assigned to colleagues. A good formula is to seek a report at ‘half time’ and in the ‘final quarter’. Remember though don’t over manage and keep asking “how’s the project going”, give them time to get on with the task and have an open door if they need you, don’t become a nagger.

HABIT 11: Be prompt in your decision-making, don’t cause undue delay to others that negatively affects their work and that delay them or that hampers their effectiveness in fulfilling their obligations to both internal and external customers.

HABIT 12: Show courtesy and respect to colleagues regardless of their position in the company and particularly irrespective of your own mood. Ignorant behaviour has no place at work; peoples dignity needs to be protected.

HABIT 13: Actively seek ways to improve yourself and overcome personal shortcomings rather than just using the excuse of that’s my style, that is an intellectually unsound approach and not worthy of a leader.

HABIT 14: Be on time every time, don’t waste others productivity by thinking your time is more important than that of others. Being late is the ultimate in bad planning (at best) and in ignorance at its worst.

HABIT 15: Handle difficult situations and people openly and as a matter of urgency, don’t avoid problems. If there is a dispute mediate before it becomes a situation where the protagonists start to gather allies to their point of view and spread the poison to others.

HABIT 16: When I don’t know something ask for an explanation rather than trying to bluff your way through. I know the old saying “sometimes it’s better to say nothing and appear fool than to open your mouth and leave no doubt’, however this bluffing can become a bad habit, best get the reputation of being an enquiring mind than a disinterested non thinker.

HABIT 17: Tell the truth at all times, avoid putting a secret agenda or spin on what your are reporting or saying and leave the sarcasm out of your communications. Facts, facts, facts, leave the smug politically driven opinions to someone else.

HABIT 18: If you can’t share information, never say yes I know however I’ve been sworn to secrecy, or say that I can’t talk about whatever it is right now. Don’t half tell things it’s just a silly game of “I know something you don’t know” and it is infantile behaviour. Stay out of the rumour mill altogether.

Habit 19: Offer specific praise publicly to those that deserve it and never stand in the limelight alone whilst ignoring the efforts of those that helped you. Always quote sources of your celebrated wisdom or results and acknowledge the efforts of your team or colleagues.

HABITS ARE LIKE RABBITS… PUT A COUPLE TOGETHER & THE EFFECTS MULTIPLY

Habit 20: Share power and responsibility and rewards with others, walk the talk yourself and if there are any brickbats to be handed out do it now in private and don’t save stuff up for staff review times later on. In other words manage the people in your area not just the processes and “things”.

Habit 21: How about you tell me!!!

Ric (orglearn) **Link for direct page viewers return to main career success blog to check out other posts!

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