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Recent economic woes must teach us all that the quality of our management and in many cases the weak and unethical behavior of some of our renowned business leaders means we need to get back to some basic principles.

Some basics of business and some more ant antics…

OUTPUT QUALITY. Another ant variety, ‘Rattue’, can teach us about partnering with our suppliers and customers. They team up with a caterpillar that supplies them with food in return for their protection from predatory spiders. Dangerous intruders cause the caterpillar tap when they approach. The interesting thing is that the supplier (caterpillar) speaks the ants’ language. The most successful finance salesman I ever new was an ex-roadwork’s construction contractor. His customers dealt with him because he understood their industry, the machinery they needed and the financial aspects of their business. How much do we know about our customers and their problems and how well our solutions really fit or just flog product? As an ex financier I am still amazed by the antics of each new generation of bankers who at best are inept and at worst, incompetent or dishonest.

NO ANTS TO BE FOUND. A few years back in a past crisis the Internet business and the infamous problems it had including many failures is a prime example of how businesses lose track of what their customers need. As an example, I had great trouble trying to change my web host due to poor communication practices of my ‘supplier’. One of their staff even said, ‘for that price you don’t get any service or advice just a space on our server’. After 3 months, 20 or 30 emails and a couple of expensive phone calls to the US from Asia where I was stationed at the time, I was finally able to complete the change. Many Internet companies forget that people deal with people and that they need to personally communicate with individuals. Badly worded, jargon filled, technical, anonymous, do it yourself forms are not effective communication devices, particularly when problems arise. This of course is reinforced by much of the financial documentation we still suffer today with many customers not really understanding what they are signing up for. I once had a financial adviser even admit, when I was trying to write an investor information seminar for him, that he would rather not be too explicit as they still relied on “smoke and mirrors” in his industry. This guy at the time of writing with investments under stress still avoids his “customers”… an ant that would rather not be found. Good business is about listening to your customers, then saying what you will do and then doing what you say and being around when needed.

Are we listening for the tapping caterpillar, do our staff have the cutting attributes they need, has anyone listened to a dissatisfied customer lately to analyze our organization’s shortcomings… or…

IS THERE A SPIDER AT THE DOOR?

Part 3 Army Ants and Intelligence!

Finally…

5) Facilitative Listening This goes beyond even empathic listening because it implies and requires that you are able to extend an especially helpful approach to the other person or people. A crucial factor here is “the capability to interpret the cognisance or self-awareness  of the speaker and the extent to which you are hearing and observing genuine ‘adult’ sounds and signals as distinct from [the senders] emotionally skewed [‘child’ or ‘parent’] outputs”. Again according to Business Balls ‘facilitative listening requires that you as listener will pause to think and prepare your responses during the exchange’, which is not a common trait with many listeners. They go on to say, “facilitative listening contains a strong additional element of being interested in helping the other person see and understand their options and choices”. To be a facilitative listener ‘you need to be devoid of any selfish personal motive, other than to extend help and to place the other person’s interests are at the forefront’. In my experience sound practitioners of this form of listening are able to use effective questions rather than making long winded so called ‘statements of fact’ to help the sender get where they need to be in their conversation and thoughts.

As I said the type of listening we use can have considerable outcomes in terms of our relationships and we all have a natural tendency to use one type or another. Again different situations or message senders will tend to influence our listening behaviour. I guess the most important thing to understand is that there are different forms of listening or listening behaviours and whether you see them as a hierarchy of “seven stages” or “eight levels” implying ‘improving progressions’ or you just accept my “five types” model you must be aware of how you are perceived as a listener and the consequences.

references

(1) http://www.managementblog.org/archives/2010/04/09/seven-stages-of-listening/

(2) http://www.businessballs.com/empathy.htm

To continue listening…

3) Listening to understand. Business Balls states here “you listen only to the content and fail to receive all the non-verbal sounds and signals, such as tone of voice, facial expression, reaction of speaker to your own listening and reactions”. “Attentive data-only listening is typically driven by a strong personal results motive. It can be highly manipulative and forceful.” With this type of listening no effort is put into trying to build a relationship with the speaker. Here the listener is often asking lots of questions to reaffirm facts and can akin to the interrogator or inquisitor type of behaviour as described in the Johari Window model. This form of listening can at its best become listening to learn or active listening and can be quite difficult as we as listener attempt to come to “grips with new ideas or views to consolidated some long term memory”(2).

4) Empathetic listening or as Tom calls it “listening for the intersection where someone else’s experience meets our experience on which we can build trust.” Business Balls describe this as ‘listening with full attention to the sounds, and all other relevant signals, including: tone of voice, other verbal aspects – e.g., pace, volume, flow, style, emphasis facial expression body language, cultural or ethnic or other aspects of the person which would affect the way their communications and signals are affecting you.’ “This requires you to have an overall collective appreciation through all relevant senses of how the other person is feeling you able to see and feel the situation from the other person’s position.” With this type of listening “you are also reacting and giving feedback and checking understanding with the speaker. You will be [selectively questioning,] summarizing and probably taking notes.” Here you will be able to disagree constructively, signal understanding and use appropriate emotion controls. If you are able to engage in this type of listening behaviour you will be able to create an “improved relationship” and hopefully reach a state of “mutual awareness” with the other party.

If you are having trouble getting anyone to listen to you, perhaps its time for a change, so take a look at the free blank resume form to find some better listeners!

go to listening skills part 3

As human relations and communication are probably the most important issues we face if we are to be successful in our careers the discussion of the central communication skill of listening is always an important topic. Bearing in mind we are all different, possessed of different personalities and natural tendencies in how we deal with others, it is still worthwhile to look at what is an optimum approach in our communications. Obviously we deal with different people and different topics with more or less attention however there is still a need for us all to at least have a grasp of what styles are most common and what the consequences of using (or overusing) one or another of these styles will do to our ability to relate to others.

According to Tom Foster (ref:1) Every conversation can be calibrated, has a platform and he states there are seven stages of listening. The website Business Balls (ref 2) on the other hand states there are eight levels or types of listening

Both listening models referenced (see part 3) that I have used as the basis of this discussion start with not listening. To my way of thinking if we are not listening we are not listening therefore I don’t think point one in ether list is valid so I will ignore it other than to remark that we all have a capacity to physically or mentally block out what is being spoken and assigning it as background noise.

For my five types of listening I do admit I have relied in building this model heavily on both the articles by both Tom Foster and Business Balls and I suggest you visit their sites as they provide excellent information.

Ric’s FIVE TYPES of LISTENING

1) Pretending to listen or giving into your own thoughts or other distractions whilst trying to give the impression you are engaged with the speaker. Now we all know that this happens when the topic or the speaker are boring or we are say trying to hear what someone else is saying (eavesdrop) in a social situation. As Business Balls states when we are doing this we tend to use “stock nods and smiles” and non-committal verbal responses. If you do not maintain eye contact or even stare blankly others can easily tell you are not listening. You must realize that this behaviour is easily recognizable and for most is considered patronizing and extremely rude. If you are to maintain good relations you must avoid this behaviour at all costs and it is best if you find yourself doing this apologize for being distracted and politely withdraw from the engagement totally. The term I use is “sorry I’m very distracted at the moment perhaps we could have this conversation at another time”. Obviously if it is your boss you are listening to you must force yourself to concentrate and make sure you do not allow your distractions to let you down or your actions could be a career limiting event.

2) Listening selectively, listening to respond or as some call it biased listening. This is where I believe most listeners sit and in men I like to call this testosterone listening. The main listening purpose if you are in this mode is to find points of disagreement or weaknesses in another’s point of view so that we can you to reaffirm our attitude or argument. You may have some “interest and perhaps some flexibility in respect of the words spoken and your reactions to them, however because you are not thinking objectively and purely putting your own interpretation on what you are hearing by making the words fit what you expect or want them to fit”(2). Even if you are more benevolent in your attitude to what is being said much of your mind in this state will be preoccupied with plotting a response and usually the full message will be missed and misunderstanding will be common. This form of listening behaviour is damaging and over time and a number of interactions can destroy relationships.

see types of listening part 2

To start at the blunt end of communication problems obviously if a relationship with others is desired it will be very difficult if the other party uses a tactic of total withdrawal by refusing to engage in any interpersonal contact. This is a blatant act that is easy to recognize and can be virtually impossible to overcome. There are however many other less obvious indications that reveal that our interpersonal communication or efforts to form relationships with others are not succeeding.

Many connections or interactions are not much more than rituals which are just “meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact”. If you find that each interaction with another individual always seems to be nothing more than a polite conversation that is just following an almost rehearsed script you are obviously not really communicating or building a relationship. These situations are often built around “pastimes that fill up time with others in social, however superficial activities”. A more dangerous scenario is when these ritualized interactions become the sum total of our ‘working activities with all tasks strictly following the rules and procedures of contact and nothing more’.

As humans are political animals by nature there will always be the risk (or opportunity) for the communicators to be plying games which are usually “subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing”. If those around you are engaging in game playing fruitful communication and the chances to build any meaningful “closeness” is unlikely.

Maybe your communication problems are in part due to your body language or your facial expressions however they are topics for another day.

So where do you start to build your skill to become a more effective communicator. I still find that if you can be brutally honest with yourself  a reflection on how you behave with others based on the old however still valid JOHARI WINDOW model can give you some insights. A better road if you can stand it is to have your friends or colleagues assess you based on the model.

For a quick look at your style are you fond of using any of the following tactics during interactions with others?

1. Attacking -interrogating, criticizing, blaming, shaming or scoffing

2. Being overly reliant on “You Messages” – moralizing, preaching, advising, diagnosing or talking about you and what you have done or achieved.

3. Showing your actual or perceived power with most your communication taking the form of orders, threats, commands or giving directives

4. Falling victim to other verbal barriers can including poor use of tone, shouting, name calling, verbal abuse, berating or even pouting and refusing to speak.

We need to remember that if any of these undesirable verbal tactics are used trust will be lost and no real interpersonal relationships will be formed.

Before I finish direct page viewers can go to main blog to check out other posts by clicking on the white “orglearn.org” in the header panel above!

While you’re here take a look at the free blank resume form!

Finally: For effective communication to occur it must be two way, involve active listening, ‘reflect the accountability of speaker and listener’, utilize feedback, be free of stress and of course be clear and concise. The basic requirement for good communication is perhaps to develop a “closeness” with others that is built on open communication, mutual respect and above all trust.

refs:

wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_overcome_communication_barriers

www.coachingachievement.co.uk/overcoming_communication_barriers

Information or communication power

This power is derived from being able to control the flow of information, or to be able to edit and be selective about what is passed on. “The information may be horizontal, to be shared with colleagues, or vertical, to be passed up or down through a formal organizational structure”.  This type of power is often linked with position power, however those with little formal authority, clerks, secretaries and receptionists, can exert information power. I have seen customer and supplier files withheld or even destroyed by individuals that were under operational pressure in an attempt to stave off the control of a situation which was threatening to staff that were acting in an unethical manner.

Perhaps at this point we should define power

DEFINITION

The ability of a person or group to influence the thoughts or behavior of another person or group, so that he/she or they do something they would not otherwise do, assuming that the recipients of the power have some personal discretion over what they do.

With this definition we can see why communication abilities and control of information is so important to holding power

part 2 (page 3)

WHAT ARE SPIN-DOCTORS AND WHAT IS SPIN?

Spin-Doctor is a term that has spread from US politics. Spin-doctors are similar to (and as some complain often confused with) ‘REAL’ public relations or public affairs individuals. Professional Spin-Doctors are used to create ‘spin’ for everything from charities, entertainers, sports people, businesses and politicians.

Spin is usually a biased or at least a limited interpretation what has happened. The ‘doctors’ analyse the matter for us and tell us what we need to understand, how to interpret information about an event and what perspective or context we should have when considering what has happened. Spin-doctors ‘advise’ us… usually they take the approach that it’s never a matter of what actually happened, it’s always how we look at it, or that it is only their ‘true’ perspective that counts. Spin is not about reality or consequences its more a matter of understanding why something happened.

Why are these people called spin-doctors? The majority of us develop an attitude or belief about an event by the manner that event is presented to us. So if we want to manipulate people’s perception, we need to alter their perspective by the way we present the information to them. To do this effectively we must put the right “spin” or ‘bent’ on the facts to influence perception in order to manipulate interpretations. The payoff is that if we put the right “spin” on the information we may be able to lead people to the interpretation and perception that we want.

“YOU CAN FOOL MOST OF THE PEOPLE MOST OF THE TIME”

WHY DO SO MANY GROUPS USE SPIN-DOCTORS?

Spin-Doctors exist because facts, figures, events and words, all have different meanings to different people. As an example the phrase, when talking to a builder, ‘you work like lightening’ can be interpreted as FAST. If the builder, is knocking nails in it can mean, INEPT, as he keeps missing the nailhead because “lightening never strikes the same place twice”. The presentation and interpretation of information is often the key to success for those pushing their version of the truth. Careers, businesses, whole communities can be made or broken through the power of public opinion. The media moulds public opinion and the media in particular can be manipulated by spin.

Most reasonable individuals, one would hope, will take the view that although spin can help, what really matters is how people (we) BEHAVE! If you ‘suck’ (as they say in the classics), all the spin in the world won’t help. For companies, successful spin means we need to be seen as ‘good’ corporate citizens and take account of HOW OUR ACTIONS effect those with a stake in our organization.

Wisdom dictates that we understand that spin-doctors come disguised as news commentators, political analysts, PR consultants, HR directors, financial controllers, ‘in the know’ mates at the office, ‘independent’ personal financial advisors or even friends and family. (Some even come disguised as educators. The difference is that a true educator informs to allow us to learn how to think, a spin-doctor informs to control our thinking.) Beware of the spin-doctors in your organization for they can blur your vision, destroy your mission and disrupt your well-laid plans.

IN AUSTRALIA THEY USE A TERM, “BULLSHIT BAFFLES BRAINS” AND TODAY IT SEEMS TRUER THAN EVER! (Pardon my language however it says it clearly)

SPIN ON THE NET

Lets face it today there is so much rubbish on the net and the tide of spin is rising, so many marketers trying to sell get rich schemes to the gullible. I have been on the net for over ten years, I make a little money, however the get rich stuff just doesn’t do it for me at all. Sure I’ve found a couple of systems that work for me, in fact one earns me and 18% return however it takes constant work and effort to get that return, just as it does with any business. Lots of internet marking activitiy I can tell you is boring, mundane and you need persistance and commitment! So don’t throw your hard eaned cash into some thing that some slick spin doctor is telling you. Best remember the old adage “if it sounds too good to be true it probably is”.

PS If you really want an online/net activity to make a few of dollars, that’s free to try and cheap to get into, take a look at this.

If you do like the media ownership idea and need any help you can Skype me at rictownsend

I’m also in another small marketing group that is very helpful and has taught me lots of good stuff that you could take a look at. Although I haven’t personally made a lot of money from it, I have made friends and learned not what to get into. This one is a bit like a marketing social group mainly older guys and girls and the friendship value itself has made it worthwhile let alone the knowledge I’ve gained. This one is Ric’s RML Friends

Ric (orglearn) **Link for direct page viewers return to main career success blog to check out other posts!

Want to ’spin’ yourself to an employer? While you’re here take a look at the free blank resume form!

Trust is an essential part of leadership and being trusted is of course hard to achieve whilst losing trust is easy to do.

The elements of trust and actions you must take to be trusted.

In your communications be specific and direct. Don’t avoid the “elephant in the room”, bring issues it to the fore early and often. If problems are occurring or others are not performing as you wish let them know with tact and in private. Use a calm and logical approach to your communication and avoid abruptness.

Share credit with those that assisted in wins you have had, even go to the point of slightly overstating their contribution or as someone said “when in doubt, share”.

Resolve issues or solve problems through direct communication at with person causing the difficulty, don’t bring in the boss or others. One to one is best.

If you are doubtful about your role in a project or proposed work related activity, tell other stakeholders of your concerns upfront. If other duties and work issues overtake you when engaged on an ongoing commitment, advise of the difficulties you are having, or going to have as soon as you believe problems will occur.

Spend non-work time networking with your colleagues, don’t just wander off alone during breaks and always be involved in any volunteer activities your organization sees as worthwhile.

Don’t ask loaded or rhetorical questions, ask only “non-assumptive” questions with couching them in any “spin” or as a way to push some secret agenda.

Make only promises you can keep and if events overtake you admit it don’t avoid the issues.

If your organization has a formal lines of authority responsible for particular tasks or to resolve issues don’t step outside the existing system and practice full disclosure of facts and potentially useful information.

Admit to your mistakes and never rope others into your problems, don’t try to share the blame by pushing your real difficulties onto, or by finding fault in others. NEVER discuss (read gossip) about another employee or department particularly if they are having difficulties… NEVER gloat or demonstrate that you are enjoying the demise of others.

Be on time, make decisions, don’t procrastinate and show the strength of your self-belief and character by being willing to be wrong and live with the consequences.

Don’t scoff at another’s opinions or efforts and add support to those in difficulty. Always look at the positive intent of risky approaches to new ways of doing things and if asked honest opinions or advice with support for the fact that others are willing to try a new approach.

Have enough self-control (and demonstrate it) to overcome immediate or short-term feelings in the interests of maintaining ongoing and long term associations.

Public communication and behaviour are a small tip of a very large personal iceberg of values and belief, be willing to question your belief system and grow as a person. Don’t dogmatically stick to what you were indoctrinated with as a youngster, be will to change your perspective.

TRUST IS ESSENTIAL FOR LEADERS

The following is a list of words that others need to be using when they describe you if you are to gain and maintain their trust;

committed, confident, fearless, communicative, predictable, reliable, correct, forgiving, clear, factual, unbiased, respectful, reasonable, confidential, contributing, even, defining, accountable, interested, calm, resolute, tactful, sincere, frank, listener, patient, answering, sharing, fair, timely, honest, decisive, neutral, competent, consistent, explicit, responsible, transparent, close (near), willing, collaborative, accurate, graceful, helpful

KNOW HOW YOU STAND? WHY NOT ASK YOUR FOLLOWERS TO RANK YOU (ANONYMOUSLY) ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10 OR USE THE “NEVER/SOMETIMES/MOSTLY/ALWAYS” GRID FOR EACH WORD AND SEE HOW YOU DO!

The longest sentence I have ever written… trust me!

The trust sentence…

To be trusted followers need to understand your intent and believe they can find a worry free, suspicion-less, environment where they are not taken for granted, their faith in the leader is confirmed and supported by a consistent track record, where mistakes are forgiven, miscommunications and misunderstandings are corrected, beliefs, differences and privacy are respected, sweeping opinions based on assumptions or stereotypes never occur, fear of loss is minimized, being betrayed or feeling burnt does not happen, abruptness, shock, knee jerk, emotional reactions, cynicism or anger are not permitted, vulnerable and naïve people are protected, solace is freely given, they are never disabled, over-reaction does not occur, they are never categorized, forced or excluded through prejudice, avoiding or omitting truth or facts is not permitted, interruptions, restlessness, frowning, negative gestures are discouraged, success, action and effort are acknowledged and credit given, neutrality, togetherness, flexibility, directness, informative, non-assumptive opinions and perspectives are sought by a leader who keeps promises, is willing to be wrong, extends themself, overcomes short-term feelings, avoids harming others, shows trust, risks being let down, makes amends and who also promotes, togetherness, closeness, full disclosure, open dialogue, speaking the truth, does what they say they will do, doesn’t do what you say they won’t do, develops others and their ideas, able to have fun, seeks solutions to problems, win/win agreements and closure and lives up to followers expectations through thoroughly understanding that power equals responsibility.

Phew… get me a headache tablet!

Ric (orglearn) **Link for direct page viewers return to main career success blog to check out other posts!

While you’re here take a look at the free blank, trust me it’s a good one to start with resume form!

A final thought on trust… always seek win/win solutions. Understanding the elements of trust and being able to sincerely build trust is essential for effective leadership. Trust me!?