I believe success is just a fleeting moment when your realities match your expectations.

I also realize, for many, the number of those moments they experience overtime defines what they (and perhaps others) see as a successful life.

So why are some people more successful than others?

I have met many people in many lands over my life and although opportunities for some seem limited, even amongst those in the direst of circumstances, there are some people that make a great success of their life. I am talking about success when it is measured against the relative or real opportunities that exist for individuals due to the circumstances of their existence.

What is it that helps some rise whilst others languish in mediocrity?

Obviously there is no simple answer however I have noticed some common traits in those that succeed.

The first pillar of success (or trait that successful people seem to have) is that: “those who succeed invariably believe that SUCCESS IS A CHOICE”.

I read an article titled “SUCCESS IS A CHOICE!! It is that simple…” by a Jim McGilvary where he told a story of business woman who could not get her business to where she wanted it to be. He said in the article:

“I told her and I am telling you:

• Make no more excuses for not having success

• Hold yourself accountable for the good and the bad

• STOP the negative thinking

• STOP worrying about the “naysayers”

• Laugh in the face of the unknown and…

• Make the choice right now, that you will do what it takes to have success.

He goes on by saying:

“I will leave you with one last thought: To fail is to have tried. To try [in itself] is to have success. You cannot have success without some failure. Choose to try, whether you fail or succeed. You cannot have success without trying. Keep choosing to have success and you will have it. It is as simple as that.”

Now perhaps his advice is a little glib and it is not quite “as simple as that” particularly for those who are very in difficult situations, however if you think about it the logic is quite sound.

So point one is you must choose to succeed.

The second pillar is:

The need to have a STRONG PERSONAL VISION

In the video “The Power of Vision” Joel Barker explores the value of having a strong personal vision of a positive future. He stresses that this is a key, not only to success, but in some cases to survival itself. In one segment he tells the story of Viktor Frankl and says; “this remarkable man is the author of the outstanding book Man’s Search for Meaning.” Frankl he explains was a prisoner in Ausweise and Barker tells how “his strong sense of having a future saved both his life and the life of others.” The survivors had a common trait and he says… and I quote:  “all of those who made it through had [or at least believed they had] something significant yet to do in their future”. A vision of a positive future is a powerful driver in us all.

The third pillar is competence.

All people will naturally gravitate to those whom are competent. So what is competence? “ Competence is: ‘the ability to create and apply a solution to a particular problem’. Whether the problem is a leaky tap or a brain tumour competent people will always be sought after and success usually follows them. How do you become competent, learn, fail, re-learn, adjust, practice and hone your skill and build your knowledge and experience. There are no shortcuts.

The fourth pillar of success (or personal trait) is the ability to win during times of change and uncertainty.

Notice I didn’t say cope. Coping is just not good enough for success, we need to find ways to excel in a constantly changing universe. The skills you will need to do that are primarily an ability to stay focussed on your goals, a willingness to remain optimistic and an attitude of persistence and high levels of commitment. You need to have the strength of character to stay true to your vision even in times of great uncertainty. You will also need to develop an ability to analyze situations, deal with half-truths and minimal information and with all that still seek out and grasp opportunities to thrive.

Finally the fifth pillar is: To be able to work well with others.

That means you have to become a student of (and reach some reasonable level of understanding of) human nature. You must to succeed be willing to engage in politics. Politics is always present when humans are together whether at social outings or in the workplace. As part of working well with others you must become expert in communication… particularly the “learning to listen” part of communication. The are many articles and posts on this website covering the issues (or art) of communication and I commend them to you.

So what is success, other than what I have said so far it’s a lot of hard work, which of course is the reality of our existence… because… nobody… truly gets a free ride. Wait you say what about those that are born into successful rich families. Well they have the same problem as the rest of us, often their realities just do not match up to their (or even others) expectations.

The fear of change comes from our natural suspicion of the unknown or of things we don’t understand. As youngsters we develop techniques to protect ourselves and over time we develop our “success formula”. This formula comprises standards of behaviour or perspectives on situations that we learn will give us our desired optimum result. To be involved in a change process we need to walk away from our own success and do something unfamiliar, a very onerous task. However the risk of not being able to change in a time when everything around us is moving and shifting will lead us to even bigger problems in the future.

As there are no signposts, road rules or speed limits in the infinite unknown and the risks seem to be enormous, how can we cope with (if not drive out) the fear? The old cliché that “familiarity breeds contempt” is a good place to start. The military uses this principle to train troops and it obviously works. The more we practice the skill of how to cope in an unfamiliar or fearful situation, the better chance we have of making our response to it automatic. If you need to think about what to do you will be lost. Example; try to hit a tennis ball while consciously thinking about it… you can’t, for success, it has to be a reaction. Think of the unknowns, speed, curvature, trajectory, spin, bounce, deceleration rate, angle of deflection, racquet speed, string tension etc etc… all unknowns. How do the best performers cope with or in fact thrive with all these unknowns… practice, practice, practice. So what do we need to do, place ourselves in unfamiliar situations, learn from the failures and overcome our inability to function in the unknown.

MANAGEMENT EXCELLENCE COMES FROM SUCCESSFULLY WORKING WITH HALF-BAKED IDEAS AND MAKING RISKY, FORWARD LOOKING DECISIONS.

Overcoming the fear of change!

Mental practice, practice, practice… A tip, under stress we are most likely not to ‘be all we can be’, so we must learn to react automatically based on an ingrained ritual of behaviour. Great news, practice can (at least at the beginning) be ‘mental’, as our subconscious can’t differentiate between imagined and real experiences. Reactions are subconscious so we can and should start by imagining ourselves doing well in unfamiliar situations to help our subconscious mind learn to cope with stress.

Another major issue is honesty. An honest approach will always help to reduce fear. Example; in the 2000 US presidential elections both candidates talked openly about embarrassing issues, personal shortcomings and past indiscretions. Why… to remove the fear of being exposed. They where then seen I suggest by the voting public as men of integrity. We need to own up to our personal shortcomings and difficulties if we are to free ourselves of our personal guilt over our imperfect past. If anyone has a perfect past I suggest you head for Rome immediately, there’s someone there that wants to meet you. This honesty needs to extend to our feelings as well as our actions. A willingness to express our feelings about a situation should not be that hard. As managers we are trained to constantly express our feelings regarding the performance of those we lead. Why not manage upward and start to express our feelings about situations created by those we follow. Remember though being judgemental or critical will evoke a natural and often distasteful result and is to be avoided. We are however all entitled to have feelings about situations. Anyone who is a manager and has had training in giving feedback (a critical management competence) knows the value of this instinctively. If you work in a place where feelings are discouraged, all the change management techniques in the world will not help and you should make the ultimate change… seek employment elsewhere. Why… because your organization is probably on the way out.

‘SOMETIMES BEING TIRED, SCARED, DE-MOTIVATED OR DISAPPOINTED IS A NATURAL PART OF THE REALITY OF WORK, WE JUST NEED TO ADMIT IT’. (author unknown)

Ref: Why it matters, by Joe Flower, http://www.well.com/user/bbear/change16.html

Things you should not do if you are being bullied

Starting a get even campaign by trying to secretly sabotage the bully or employing physical violence to counteract verbal attacks. It can also be counter productive trying to enlist the sympathy and help of inappropriate co-workers as in my experience often onlookers will pretend support as they enjoy watching the demise of either the bully or the one being bullied.

Things you should do to counteract an office bully

The first issue is to take the stance that its not your fault. I know this sounds obvious (and perhaps difficult) however some people I have met in my career seem to internalize the problem and blame themselves for what happens and live, or just exist, with a victim’s mentality. If you take this view of life it will be hard to overcome the injustice that is being inflicted upon you. You have to overcome negative feelings and realize that you are entitled to be how you want to be, feel how you would like to feel and that no one has the right to attack your feelings or try to diminish your sense of self worth. Employers have the right to judge your work in relation to their needs however no one has the right to question your values, feelings and emotions. If you need a strategy to get you started on a more positive outlook read something (or go to a course on) “affirmations” and/or “positive self talk”. Two things to remember here, they are clichés however they are true: “the most important words you will ever hear are the words you say to yourself about yourself when you are by yourself” and that “insanity is doing the same thing every time and expecting a different result”. You must using whatever means you can put real effort into either developing (or maintaining) your positive self image,

Many will advise you to enlist support of co-workers, this however as I said previously can be dangerous. You must report the bullying  behavior to the appropriate internal or external authorities. To do this you will need to keep a record of the incidents, even as I suggested in a recent tweet go to the lengths of recording your conversations with the bully. You must document your positive work outcomes particularly if someone in a position of power is taking credit for your work. You need to get support by going to your human resources department and/or any organization in your area set up to help with these situations. Often institutions such as social services or other quasi legal entities exist to handle these types of situations. If no improvement is forthcoming you must have the courage to take formal legal action. I realize that taking a formal approach to the bullying will put your job in jeopardy however letting yourself be bullied is a slippery slope of misery that can end in disaster.

There is also some interesting perspectives and positive outcome examples at:

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/WorkingWounded/story?id=468009

Before you go to read their advice its wise to remember if all else fails you may end up by changing employers. If you need to do that here is a resume example to get you started on your new direction. I certainly however hope you do not need to use it because of being bullied. Changing jobs is a drastic action however you need to realize you deserve to work in a reasonable environment and this will sometimes mean you need to find an employer with a more positive work culture where bullying is not tolerated.

2. Equally important is to understand that “NOW” is the only time we ever really have and therefore we must live in the present rather than relishing the past and regretting what has gone. Sure you need a sound vision of the future however the “now” is all you have. Combined with this we must come to the realization that worrying about the future is useless. Worrying can stifle our spirit and destroy any real chance of living up to our potential. It is best to remember we can always do a little better each day. One small idea with coping with your worries is to try to remember what where you worried about on the same day last year? Most of us can’t, so work through your troubles and they too are likely to be consigned over time to a forgotten history.

3. Change needs to be seen, if you approach it as inevitable, as an opportunity to satisfy the priorities and desires we have set. Now often changes are thrust upon us and one thing we must do is insert ourselves in the change process so we can influence to the outcome. The best way to do this is to commit ourselves productively to others in the process who are trying to solve problems or by who are forced by a change in circumstances to attempt to capitalize on new opportunities. This forced change is of course what happens in organizations that are responding to an ever changing and fickle marketplace.

4. Don’t become part of the resistance group, you can tell them easily, they will be the ones that will be crying “but we’ve always done it this way”. These people will drag you down with their “misery loves company” attitude and you will just become another victim… which you must refuse to be. Please realize that becoming a ‘victim of circumstances’ is vastly overrated, as there is always a choice. We all choose the variables that make up our life. At worst if there is change occurring at our workplace if we don’t like it or can’t support it we can choose to leave. If you accept that you always have a choice and you will truly be empowered. If you can’t accept empowerment best find a way to leave the planet.

YOU MAY NOT HAVE A CHOICE ABOUT THE CHANGES OCCURRING AROUND YOU HOWEVER YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE ON HOW YOU RESPOND! Want to make a radical change and change your job? This may help: sample resume!

5. Learn to be adaptable… even in nature we constantly see examples of how specialist species, particularly those relying on symbiotic relationships disappear, don’t be over-reliant on a few others around you or on too few skills or you will go the way of many such species. Lets face it nature constantly demonstrates best that those that have the greatest capability to survive, or better still thrive, are those that are most adaptable. To accomplish a better result in a changing future we need to seek out new experiences, a broader range of skills and to continuously re-educate ourselves. As some others put it we must become “life long learners” as in the future those with broadly based knowledge and experience will be in demand. Can I suggest the days of just being the best single discipline ‘technician’ (engineer) are long gone.

6. To cope, or again better still thrive in changing times, we all need to live by the doctrine that “the responsibility for me is mine alone” and if we can do that we will begin to take the lead in our own life and perhaps come out on top in whatever the future becomes. Leading the change process, now that’s a great place to be.

Participants in many of the leadership and team building courses I conduct often complain that although they, after training, attempt to adopt a more enlightened approach to management and leadership, their bosses are still locked in their old, power and position driven, hierarchical practices. How to break this nasty vicious cycle… train the bosses first, after all leadership comes from the top… doesn’t it?

By the way if you want to see how humans get involved in such leader / follower behavior (not too sure about the collective intelligence aspect) take a look at this video: http://sivers.org/ff

Point: if you are never given an opportunity to lead and you believe you have earned the right and have the skills perhaps you need to use the free blank resume form and to start a process to lead yourself elsewhere!

Tip: USUALLY THE EXPERT IN ANY JOB IS THE ONE ACTUALLY DOING IT however IT DOESN’T MEAN THEY CAN LEAD OTHERS TO DO IT AS WELL!

This power is derived from being able to control the flow of information, or to be able to edit and be selective about what is passed on. “The information may be horizontal, to be shared with colleagues, or vertical, to be passed up or down through a formal organizational structure”.  This type of power is often linked with position power, however those with little formal authority, clerks, secretaries and receptionists, can exert information power. I have seen customer and supplier files withheld or even destroyed by individuals that were under operational pressure in an attempt to stave off the control of a situation which was threatening to staff that were acting in an unethical manner.

Perhaps at this point we should define power

DEFINITION

The ability of a person or group to influence the thoughts or behavior of another person or group, so that he/she or they do something they would not otherwise do, assuming that the recipients of the power have some personal discretion over what they do.

With this definition we can see why communication abilities and control of information is so important to holding power

part 2 (page 3)

As Plato puts it: “One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.”

Research shows that successful managers (those promoted) spend almost half of their work time networking while effective (do a ‘good’ job) managers spend only about 10%. When we add in time spent communicating, successful managers spend a little over three quarters of their time in what we may call “human relations activities” while effective managers spend a little over half of their time. This means to be successful only about 25% of time is spent doing ‘the real work’.

With out doubt as managers our role is to get things done through other people, so whether we seek success or effectiveness we must become human relations’ experts and I suggest, be our own best ‘spin doctors’. Wherever people are together politics will always play a part in group relations and in the interactions between individuals as each member attempts to satisfy their own needs and wants. We are all selfish after all.

So if we must all engage in the politics at our workplace how do we become more astute at the game?

Firstly we must publicize our successes. Learning how to ‘show off’ without appearing to do so can be a great asset. Try this… next time you have a win smile, whistle and dance around, show some enthusiasm… people will want to know why you are so happy and elated… well I’ve had a great day… I won this deal or I’ve cracked this problem or whatever, tell your story, (but don’t rave on, short is sweet).

POLITICS, IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, OR CAN’T HANDLE IT… BEST BECOME SELF-EMPLOYED!

Secondly, look like a winner. View those around you that are at the top of your organisation and learn from their style. Don’t hang around with the ‘grumble group’, find out whether your company culture appreciates risk takers or avoiders, rule followers or breakers and live within these constraints. Learn the difference between form and substance, how something looks is often more important than how things really are. This even applies to dress and presentation. If the top wears dark blue suits, white shirts, red ties and clean-shaven faces you do the same. But I’ve always had a beard, my wife likes it… go work for your wife then.

Thirdly, why not make yourself indispensable. No one can do that you might say, however back to form and substance… you can appear to be. If the management believe that you can provide a service that is hard to replace you will gain a great political advantage. Example, if you have a strong relationship with a key customer’s senior personnel spend time to keep them more than just satisfied. If you are in close contact with, regulatory or government departments such as customs, tax, labour or industry, look after your contact (bearing in mind the ethics of your company). Again, if you are an astute computer operator in the IT department, fix the senior exec’s problems yourself, don’t delegate. Senior executives are too busy with the big picture to be experts in each field of the companies operation. So, pick a critical area that you have a reasonable level of competence in and make yourself the helpful expert in that field. Provide information on developments in your area and get the information to those that control your future… the bosses.

“I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT POLITICS ARE TOO SERIOUS A MATTER TO BE LEFT TO THE POLITICIANS” – CHARLES DeGAULLE

Politics, you won’t hate it as much if you become better at ‘the game’!

Powerful allies are important for political success. Bosses are formal leaders however all organisations have informal leaders that can come from any level of the company. Don’t ignore the informal networks in your organisation and make yourself valuable or at least a neutral when dealing with such groups and never place yourself in open conflict. Remember sometimes ‘it is better to say nothing and appear a fool than to open your mouth and leave no doubt’. Similarly avoid the fringe members or powerless individuals in your organisation. In one company I worked for they where known as ‘the lemons’, they always liked ‘the way it was in the good old days’ and proffered opinions on why everything the company is doing now won’t work. This group loves an audience, will give advice and will make friends easily. They will also laugh inwardly as they recruit another to their misery. Keep away at all costs.

Power is linked to control of resources so effort must be placed into gaining as much resource control as possible. Even secretaries know the value of the key to the stationary cupboard or how devastating they can be by holding a memo back for 24 hours. Successful politics and power are inextricably linked so if you see a chance to control any company resource (crucial contacts, physical assets, expert knowledge etc) you must take charge.

“TURN ON TO POLITICS, OR POLITICS WILL TURN ON YOU” – Ralph Nader

A final few thoughts on how we can become more successful in the critical success area of… politics.

Bosses can be a pain in the butt however in reality our relationship with ‘the company’ is no more than a reflection of our relationship with our boss (and perhaps his or her boss). When people think of working in a company in terms of ‘good’ or ‘bad’, they are trying to credit the company with possessing a ‘soul’, which it does not (and never will) have. Trying to humanise a company is dangerous and in fact borders on stupid. How we fit in our company is purely a reflection of the association we enjoy (or otherwise) with our immediate ‘superiors’. Obviously then we need to be politically astute in dealing with the boss which means we must make them look good every chance we get. To flourish we must give the bosses our full support and if they are under attack from others, always take their side. If you are seen as disloyal to your current boss you will be perceived as disloyal to all others, including those you may work for in the future. Remember bosses come and bosses go, learn from the bad and enjoy the good.

Lastly, selling rather than telling is always the preferable option. If you need engage in arguments develop the skill to remove the perception of personal desire from the conflict (even though they will always be a factor). The ‘trick’ is to frame all arguments in terms of the company’s interests rather than our own. Stick to supportable facts, use your company knowledge to negotiate win-wins and never allow yourself to be seen as placing your self-interest above that of the company… even if you are. Failing in this area will lead to your ultimate demise. Lastly, always control you emotions and think with head rather than your heart.

POLITICS: THE THINKING PERSONS SPORT!

*Link for direct page viewers return to main career success blog to check out other posts!

If you are losing the political battle at work and it is time to go to a new employer take a look at the free blank resume form as you will need it if you want to enter a new political arena!

Twelve quick tips for improving your political astuteness

Don’t publicly complain about your boss or colleagues to your co-workers or to other company divisions or departments.

Remain neutral or detached from disputes between others

Don’t become part of the “rumor mill, what you hear about others from others should stay with you alone

When others complain about a boss or co-worker, don’t further inflame the situation by adding another layer of opinion

Don’t ridicule or scoff at others particularly if they are experiencing some misfortune

Question authority or policy decisions only directly to the authority or policy makers and definitely not to or through third parties… and do it with tact and diplomacy

Remember the old communication problem that what you say may not be what the other person hears and what you hear may not be what the other person means so seek clarification and ensure true understanding of the message

When you need to make a complaint or discuss a difficult situation, focus on the situation and facts and keep the resolution of the difficulty as your goal… separate the problem from the people or personalities

Don’t speculate to others on areas you know little or nothing about

Don’t claim credit for others successes nor belittle others successes

Avoid speaking when you are emotional or disturbed by a situation, go away calm down analyze the facts and when presenting the matter or reason for your of your discontent be calm factual and brief

Avoid, groaning, moaning, whining or being a “winger”, if you don’t like something come up with an alternative and suggest it to your workmates, team and/or boss

If my memory serves me well Malthusian Law went something like this:

‘The world will never be overpopulated as population growth is limited by war, pestilence, famine and natural disasters.’

From a personal or individual perspective this means that if you are to survive you need to protect yourself from all these natural forces by astutely being somewhere where these occurrences are not likely to happen.

Now for many this is not possible, however if you are by chance lucky enough to have some control over your existence you should consider these factors carefully.

From a work-life point of view lets see what you can do to give yourself the best chance of surviving or even thriving.

WAR: Often times in your career you will come across a war at work. Interdepartmental rivalries, battles for limited resources, personality clashes and straightforward power struggles. It is human nature for us in conflict situations to seek allies or to be sought out as supporters for one side of an argument or another. Can I suggest if you are put in a situation where you are being recruited on a position, where others are in conflict, at all costs stay out of the fray and remain neutral. Keep away from the combatants and focus on your own job role and performance.

PESTILENCE: The major disease I have witnessed in organizations is that of “poor cultural attitudes”. Every organization has cultural norms that have grown over time based on the personalities within the company and or the legacy that others have left. Often the cultural norms of a company can limit or even destroy its competitiveness in ever changing markets. Our fear of change, reliance on how things have been done in the past, power groups with vested interests in maintaining the status quo and being blinded victims of our own past successes can all create very sick organizations. If you find yourself in a company that is maintaining traditions that are out of step with current market realities don’t hang around, go out and find a more healthy place to work.

FAMINE: Old style companies, working in ever shrinking markets, trying to survive on outmoded products or services will over time starve to death and if you stay on working for one of them you may well suffer the same fate. I have had personal experience with this when in Australia the government deregulated the banking industry and finance companies as a result were starved of funds and business opportunities. I hung on for a few years however those that updated their skill set and changed industries early did best over the years that ensued. There are virtually no ‘real’ finance companies left in Australia today. Much of America’s traditional manufacturing is of course suffering, or has already suffered, the same fate.

*Link for direct page viewers return to main career success blog to check out other posts!

By the way if any of the Malthusian issues are currently impacting on your career you may like to take a look at the free blank resume form and take the law into your own hands by using the document to move on to less dangerous places of existence!

Finally…

NATURAL DISASTERS: Perhaps one of the greatest natural disasters that can befall  most of us from a work perspective is a takeover or merger. In this type of scenario there will be all sorts of misinformation, false promises and spin floating around and you will have two choices, stay and be part of the rescue process to rebuild the new radically changed organization or head out on the first evacuation flight you can get. In the merger I was involved in I chose the former however after two years, even though I had a more senior and better paid position, I didn’t like the culture and business practices of the new organization and resigned. Some of my former colleagues from day one of the merger process resisted the change and were offered a handsome golden handshake. In retrospect I should have taken the same approach. Now you might find this to be counter intuitive however when you are part of a takeover/merger you should consider your future and your options very carefully and remember no matter how smart you are no one is indispensable. I guess if you can maneuver yourself into a position of getting enough money to live and study enough to gain new and more sought after skills in a new company, or perhaps even different career, you may well be better off over time.