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Human Relations Communication and the Five Types of Listening part 3

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

Finally…

5) Facilitative Listening This goes beyond even empathic listening because it implies and requires that you are able to extend an especially helpful approach to the other person or people. A crucial factor here is “the capability to interpret the cognisance or self-awareness  of the speaker and the extent to which you are hearing and observing genuine ‘adult’ sounds and signals as distinct from [the senders] emotionally skewed [‘child’ or ‘parent’] outputs”. Again according to Business Balls ‘facilitative listening requires that you as listener will pause to think and prepare your responses during the exchange’, which is not a common trait with many listeners. They go on to say, “facilitative listening contains a strong additional element of being interested in helping the other person see and understand their options and choices”. To be a facilitative listener ‘you need to be devoid of any selfish personal motive, other than to extend help and to place the other person’s interests are at the forefront’. In my experience sound practitioners of this form of listening are able to use effective questions rather than making long winded so called ‘statements of fact’ to help the sender get where they need to be in their conversation and thoughts.

As I said the type of listening we use can have considerable outcomes in terms of our relationships and we all have a natural tendency to use one type or another. Again different situations or message senders will tend to influence our listening behaviour. I guess the most important thing to understand is that there are different forms of listening or listening behaviours and whether you see them as a hierarchy of “seven stages” or “eight levels” implying ‘improving progressions’ or you just accept my “five types” model you must be aware of how you are perceived as a listener and the consequences.

references

(1) http://www.managementblog.org/archives/2010/04/09/seven-stages-of-listening/

(2) http://www.businessballs.com/empathy.htm

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Posted in career advice, human relations, leadership, life skills, listening, management leadership, selling skills, success, trust | 1 Comment »

Human Relations Communication and the Five Types of Listening

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

As human relations and communication are probably the most important issues we face if we are to be successful in our careers the discussion of the central communication skill of listening is always an important topic. Bearing in mind we are all different, possessed of different personalities and natural tendencies in how we deal with others, it is still worthwhile to look at what is an optimum approach in our communications. Obviously we deal with different people and different topics with more or less attention however there is still a need for us all to at least have a grasp of what styles are most common and what the consequences of using (or overusing) one or another of these styles will do to our ability to relate to others.

According to Tom Foster (ref:1) Every conversation can be calibrated, has a platform and he states there are seven stages of listening. The website Business Balls (ref 2) on the other hand states there are eight levels or types of listening

Both listening models referenced (see part 3) that I have used as the basis of this discussion start with not listening. To my way of thinking if we are not listening we are not listening therefore I don’t think point one in ether list is valid so I will ignore it other than to remark that we all have a capacity to physically or mentally block out what is being spoken and assigning it as background noise.

For my five types of listening I do admit I have relied in building this model heavily on both the articles by both Tom Foster and Business Balls and I suggest you visit their sites as they provide excellent information.

Ric’s FIVE TYPES of LISTENING

1) Pretending to listen or giving into your own thoughts or other distractions whilst trying to give the impression you are engaged with the speaker. Now we all know that this happens when the topic or the speaker are boring or we are say trying to hear what someone else is saying (eavesdrop) in a social situation. As Business Balls states when we are doing this we tend to use “stock nods and smiles” and non-committal verbal responses. If you do not maintain eye contact or even stare blankly others can easily tell you are not listening. You must realize that this behaviour is easily recognizable and for most is considered patronizing and extremely rude. If you are to maintain good relations you must avoid this behaviour at all costs and it is best if you find yourself doing this apologize for being distracted and politely withdraw from the engagement totally. The term I use is “sorry I’m very distracted at the moment perhaps we could have this conversation at another time”. Obviously if it is your boss you are listening to you must force yourself to concentrate and make sure you do not allow your distractions to let you down or your actions could be a career limiting event.

2) Listening selectively, listening to respond or as some call it biased listening. This is where I believe most listeners sit and in men I like to call this testosterone listening. The main listening purpose if you are in this mode is to find points of disagreement or weaknesses in another’s point of view so that we can you to reaffirm our attitude or argument. You may have some “interest and perhaps some flexibility in respect of the words spoken and your reactions to them, however because you are not thinking objectively and purely putting your own interpretation on what you are hearing by making the words fit what you expect or want them to fit”(2). Even if you are more benevolent in your attitude to what is being said much of your mind in this state will be preoccupied with plotting a response and usually the full message will be missed and misunderstanding will be common. This form of listening behaviour is damaging and over time and a number of interactions can destroy relationships.

see types of listening part 2

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INFLUENCING OTHERS – WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS – STATING EXPECTATIONS

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

I guess we would all prefer be “sold rather than told” however sometimes if we need to co-opt the assistance of others we just don’t have the time to influence by negotiation or to engender enthusiasm for an idea or work goal.

Often when the pressure to produce is on, the only option is to clearly state our expectations and get on with it.

These situations are often related to issues where valid actions or processes need to be undertaken or changed where there is no room to debate or negotiate, particularly as they relate to rules, policies, the law or even the greater good of the organization. They also occur as delivery deadlines approach or customer satisfaction or retention is critical and under threat.

So how do you most effectively go about stating your expectations?

Firstly it seems to work best if you start out by listening to the person you need to influence and make sure you fully understand their point of view before you restate your own expectation when instructions were not accepted in the first instance. It will always be beneficial to indicate that your mind is not closed to another’s views, however there are times where, even if commitment is preferred, you will need to settle for compliance. Important point: Whilst actively listening to another’s point of view don’t “cop out” by raising false hopes of compromise or negotiation or these will come back and bite you at a later date.

To make it stick outline the resulting incentives or disincentives if the other person will not meet your needs

Since this is influence gained through ‘coercive’ or ‘position’ power, the other person may only be influenced to comply because it is worth their while to do so. You should only use the threat of sanctions if it is clear that the need being outlined or actions being requested will not be met by any other method.

Important point: If you constantly use this method of influence to get things done you will be seen as a weak autocrat. Just as importantly if you do not use this tactic (and many seem to avoid it) and let results suffer you will merely be seen as weak or a pushover. Remember when or others demand that we conform to their instructions we feel oppressed and victimized and ultimately we will become resentful. This influencing tactic should to be used sparingly and perhaps only as a last resort.

Your expectations not being met in your current job? Take a look at the free blank resume form and perhaps you can find somewhere more willing to accommodate you!

Finally a very very important point: If you threaten sanctions or offer rewards carry out on your threats or offers or your followers (staff) will become totally unmanageable and you will need to move on and the resume form above may become more than just and option and more of an essential.

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Posted in building trust, career advice, career survival, communication, human relations, leadership, management, management leadership, power, work culture | 1 Comment »

Influence and Choosing the Most Appropriate Influence Strategy

Saturday, April 24th, 2010

At work there are many different situations where you need to influence others particularly as a manager or leader. So which influence strategy is most appropriate in each situation. Here is a quick basic checklist.

Situation

• There are conflicting views or needs between you and others

• There is a genuine opportunity for give and take for mutual benefit

• Is this likely to be a relatively non-emotional situation

• You have the power to offer rewards and punishments

Strategy: Negotiate win-win outcomes

Situation

• Common purpose cannot be seen or is missing in this situation

• Others lack enthusiasm or understanding of what you need to be done

• Commitment is critical to the success of your influence objective

• Your influence objective has the capacity see see a better future

Strategy: Paint a verbal picture (see earlier post!)

Situation

• You have an undeniable and valid need in this situation

• Is it reasonable that the other person could meet this need

• Compliance more important than commitment in this situation

• You have legitimate authority to act

Strategy: State expectations

Before I go on…

Direct page viewers can go to main blog to check out other posts by clicking on the white “orglearn.org” in the header panel above!

If you think you don’t have enough influence at work and need to seek a place of greater scope take a look at the free resume form!

To continue…

Situation

• Others involved are other rational about this situation

• You are non-emotional and businesslike about this situation

• You hold valid facts and/or data to support your position

• Those who you wish to influence understand work ramifications

Strategy: Convince with logic

Sure situations are never purely one or the other however if you think about your situation and the other players, a correct mix of influencing strategies should improve your chances of obtaining successful outcomes.

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Posted in career advice, communication, human relations, leadership, management, management leadership, negotiation, power, success, teams, teamwork | No Comments »

Managers as Leaders: How to Find a Candidate for Promotion

Sunday, April 18th, 2010

A number or organizations I have consulted/worked for have tended to appoint the most technically competent staff member to the role of manager. If this procedure is followed often the best salesperson (as an example) will become the sales manager. The downside risk of this approach alone is that you can lose your best salesperson and gain a lousy manager/leader. So what attributes do you look for to head a department, particularly when you are promoting from within.

According to Bobby Borg of getsigned.com “the most important qualities to look for in a manager are; in addition to being powerful, well-connected, a good negotiator, enthusiastic, committed and accessible, a good manager should be one who over-all inspires your trust and respect”.

Steve Aston commenting on hbswk.hbs.edu suggests picking individuals (managers/leaders) that have “a vision” who have “learned to engage people” and possessed of a great deal of “political savvy” who ‘know how to pay attention to, neutralize and/or convert these [political] forces quietly, ethically and effectively’. Finally he says leaders need to be able to “manage a healthy tension between patience and a ’sense of urgency’”.

Well that all sounds great on paper and perhaps you can test for those qualities or recognize them over time. Some of the more “top of the behavioral pyramid” observable traits that I believe can help and you could look for are:

– those who regularly tell others what they are doing and the results they have achieved on behalf of the company. I know they can be seen as braggers however better this sort, than the ones who are grumbling about the problems or spending there time explaining why things can’t happen based on their professional ‘competence’

- those that seem to be able get their workmates to help out when things need to get done, the characters that say ‘hey lets stay on and finish this off together’ and that don’t bad mouth others or complain about workmates

- those who are willing to be in the spotlight… you know… the types that volunteer to plan a company event or activity or that will give presentations to other employees

- those with a good network, they know ‘everybody,’ the sort of person you instinctively go to, to ask… do you know anyone that can get me a left handed widget for my ‘whats-it-thingo’

- those that finish tasks on time without sacrificing quality or wasting resources

- those that seem to make others feel good about themselves, the types that say, ‘he’s a good guy’ or ‘she’s a great help’ and that are comfortable paying compliments to others

- those that can sell the ‘no’ or a different point of view with tact and still maintain relationships by knowing what is common ground and strengthening that, rather than accentuating differences

- those that solve problems in imaginative ways and through negotiation rather than the ones that come to your office and say, ‘this is a foul up what do we do now’!

- those that listen and show they are listening and can communicate their ideas and thoughts effectively

Now you may see the above points as a little less serious than the more formal and recognized approaches however experience shows that often those that do demonstrate the traits above are also the natural leaders.

Finally Adrian Grigoriu also commenting on hbswk.hbs.edu/item/6103.html says:

“It is generally accepted that business management is about organization, control, planning and budgeting. Leadership is thought to be about motivation, mobilization, creating the vision and establishing culture. It demands charisma, the quality of an individual to attract followers for a specific endeavor by inspiring trust and respect . This comes from experience, education, leading by example and natural abilities such as self confidence and emotional control (EQ) to reassure and be credible.”

So can I suggest if you are gazing out at your staff compliment and wondering which is the best technical expert that you should make your next department head, before you decide, think about the above points and just maybe one of the lesser technicians is your best choice as the leader/manager.

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Posted in choosing managers, entrepreneurial management, finding managers, leader selection, leadership, management, management leadership | No Comments »

The 5 Sources of Power and How to Become Powerful part 2

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

Expert power

Expert power is based on the specialized knowledge or skills that an individual has which can be contributed or withheld. Generally, individuals are positive about being lead, or at least influenced, by those whom they regard as ‘an expert’. This form of power is “comparative” and the holder of this type of power is always under threat from other “experts”. Expert power is often based around a very narrow bank of knowledge, skills or competence and can be short lived as time passes and technology or techniques evolve. It is a reality that someone will always come along who knows more than you do in a particular area.

Connection or as I was taught it “referent” power:

Referent power comes about as a result of an individuals ability to control or use access to influential people through formal networks or associations. Additionally as people/employees increasingly extend their circle of influence or information sources through involvement in informal networks their power can increase. Networks and hierarchies that operate independently of more formal organizational structures can often compete with, or even be more influential than the official company structure.

Personal power or personal attractiveness

This type of power results from an individual’s own personal qualities or ‘charisma’.  People will often undertake a particular action or behave in particulars ways because they admire and like the individual holding the power. Some believe that this type o power is built up through “being reliable, trustworthy, honest and likeable”. This view is obviously limited in its explanation as charisma and what it is is not something that automatically comes with behavior alone. The personal attractiveness part of this equation can also obviously be lost as we age or as our ability to attract others through ‘positive’ personality may be diminished. Suffice to say if you want to develop this type of power in yourself you will need to do the best you can with how you look, present yourself, personal confidence levels, how well you communicate and your natural personal traits.

So what is power about and what are the benefits and pitfalls

According to Richard Petty, professor of psychology at Ohio State University and co-author of a study on power:  “Powerful people have confidence in what they are thinking. Whether their thoughts are positive or negative toward an idea, that position is going to be hard to change,” This of course can be both a benefit and a shortcoming and you, if you hold power, can risk missing opportunities to grow and develop through the arrogance of total self-belief.

Abraham Lincoln said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” So if you seek power, beware of the almost inevitable personal consequences to your thought processes and even your very existence.

Amy Tan “You see what power is – holding someone else’s fear in your hand and showing it to them!” Reality succinctly put perhaps!

I was once told that: ‘for power to exist you must have control over something that is limited in supply and that considered valuable by those over whom you want hold power’. This as we have seen above can be technical skills, information or even a willingness to have an ongoing relationship.

So if you are seeking power be advised you must develop all five areas otherwise your time in control will be but a fleeting moment and the process of losing power can be a terminal event.

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Posted in inspiring staff, leader selection, leadership, leading change, management, management leadership, politics at work, power | 1 Comment »

The 5 Sources of Power and How to Become Powerful

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

Formal, legitimate, delegated, authority or position power

This form of power comes from an individual’s designated role and the role’s relative status within the organization. Commonly this power entails the right to organize people and resources. As this form power is conferred by the organization if the position or role is lost so is the power. At its worst this can manifest itself as negative power as the holder has the capacity to stop, delay or disrupt the actions of others. This negative power usually used by those that feel they have no other source of control and is an often expression of anger, frustration, low morale or poor self esteem. A similar form of formal power is sometimes known a sanction power or reward – coercion power. This covers an individual’s capability to use incentives or issue threats to control people’s behavior. Rewards are offered to those who comply and punishment or deprivation threatened for non-compliance. This power can be demonstrated as naked aggression or more indirectly as pressure exerted through the threat of or actual removal of status, privileges or even financial rewards.

Expert power

Expert power is based on the specialized knowledge or skills that an individual has which can be contributed or withheld. Generally, individuals are positive about being lead, or at least influenced, by those whom they regard as ‘an expert’. This form of power is “comparative” and the holder of this type of power is always under threat from other “experts”. Expert power is often based around a very narrow bank of knowledge, skills or competence and can be short lived as time passes and technology or techniques evolve. It is a reality that someone will always come along who knows more than you do in a particular area.

page 2

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Posted in career survival, inspiring staff, leader selection, leadership, management, management leadership, politics at work, power, success | 1 Comment »

A Key fo Creating the Ultimate Self Development Program

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

The Ultimate “Soft Skills” Career Development Plan

If a survey of employers conducted by Hart Research Associates released Jan 20 2010 on behalf of the Association of American Colleges and Universities is anything to go by, if you want to commercially focus your personal development program, perhaps you should consider their results.

Early on in the report they state “Employers want their employees to use a broader set of skills and have higher levels of learning and knowledge than in the past to meet the increasingly complex demands they will face in the workplace.”

Employers were asked (amongst other things) what specific learning outcomes (competencies) they wanted to be developed in potential employees by educational institutions and which gives us some insights into what we need to do to become more employable.

The top five (of seventeen) items were:

The ability to effectively communicate orally and in writing 89%
Critical thinking and analytical reasoning skills 81%
The ability to apply knowledge and skills to real-world settings through internships or other
hands-on experiences 79%
The ability to analyze and solve complex problems 75%
The ability to connect choices and actions to ethical decisions 75%

Now this gives all of us wanting to select which courses to attend, or which self development books to read or even which electives to study some great basic direction for our personal development priorities. This survey is an excellent look at what you should get ready to provide (outside your technical skills) and I recommend that you read the report in it entirety.

The full report can be read/downloaded at: www.aacu.org/leap/documents/2009_EmployerSurvey.pdf

Completing your resume is a great way to assess your current functional skills and competencies and if you would like to do so there is a free blank resume with examples and samples at resume form.

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Posted in career advice, career survival, changing careers, employment, job search, job seekers, life skills, management leadership | 2 Comments »

LEADING AND MANAGING CULTURAL ISSUES AT WORK

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

As leaders we need to facilitate formal individual and structured interdepartmental interactions to provide different sub-cultures, which all organizations have, with a forum to learn of each other’s frustrations, priorities and core values. Interdepartmental teams formed to work together to develop interface understanding and solutions to cultural difficulties and opposing work priorities can be a great help. Also as the leader we must passionately discourage any behaviour that allows departments to blame each other for difficulties and insist that ‘collaborating on solutions’ is the only cultural norm that will be tolerated.

‘Cultural differences’ are not just a ‘locals’ and ‘expats’ or say an ‘Asian’ versus ‘Western’ problem; they are also a potentially destructive force between workgroups that have opposing ‘work-culture’ priorities and perspectives within the same organization.

As a priority all staff need to develop some overall ‘Business Competence’ and be encouraged to see their role as it relates to the ‘entire organization’ rather than see themselves as ‘a member of a department’ or as an individual that just swaps a narrowly focussed service based or a specific expertise for money. Individuals must develop ‘a customer orientation’, ‘industry knowledge’, ‘an entrepreneurial attitude’, ‘an operational development focus’, ‘sound company knowledge’ and particularly understand the ‘overall company financial result’ and the part they play in it.

Modern business complexity and customer demands mean modern organizations are more solutions driven than product driven. This complexity means more efforts are need to be undertaken by project teams made up of individuals from different functional backgrounds. Employees must buy into the idea that they must be able to switch rapidly from one task to another, to work with people with very different vocational training and mind-sets. Working in situations in which ‘the team’ is the responsible party, the manager only a coordinator, where all parties no longer have clear job descriptions and where all are required to work on several projects at the same time is today’s cultural norm.

Now you may not initially think this is a great problem however, imagine a meeting between R&D, who are interested in ‘long term visions, superior features, safety, the best product for the customer’ and the finance division who are interested in ‘cost minimization, immediate cash flow, long term profitability and the shareholders’. Add a representative of the sales department, ‘market share, need it now, the price has to be more competitive’ and perhaps a HR director, ‘they’re not trained, it’s too much of a stain on the staff and they’ll all leave’ and cultural issues will explode.

As leader/managers with an ever increasing mix of people from different backgrounds combined with ever increasing rates of change and the need for greater levels of specialisation, we all need to spend more time managing the cultural differences in our organisations. “It’s their fault,” is often heard in organizations where there is no individual or interdepartmental understanding. This divisiveness left unresolved will cause poor work relationships, lousy business interactions and will always translate into poor customer service.

YES YES THAT’S MY PLACE… WHAT DO I DO?

Read the next blog post coming soon!

Direct page viewers can go to main blog to check out other posts by clicking on the white “orglearn.org” in the header panel above!

Suffering in your career from a lousy culture or cultural management practices at work? Time to move on? Update your personal brand using the free blank resume form! Buy the way there are lots of career articles at orglearn management and career success!

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WHAT DO MANAGERS DO AND DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A MANAGER?

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Many individuals I train are making the move from technical expertise (engineers) to becoming mangers where their technical powerbase will be less relevant. This involves a large amount of retraining and education and for some it’s a very daunting decision.

So what do managers do and what are the pros and cons of taking a management role?

According to Peter Drucker managers:

• Set objectives.
• Organize.
• Motivate and communicate.
• Measure.
• Develop people.

Well then of course there’s the old tried and true, planning, organizing, acting controlling and leader roles managers are expected to undertake to be at least efficient let alone effective. As the need to be a leader/manager is the most prevalent role definition today we all need to be:

• sellers of the vision
• strong advocates for the mission
• implementers of the plan

Of course all this needs to be achieved whilst coming to grips with the mindless vagaries of indolent self centred staff, or worse trying to maintain control the excesses of the exuberant ‘don’t know what they don’t know’ bunch to ensure they don’t give away the profits.

To make things more complicated for those working in cross-cultural situations you have the frustration of… “EMPOWERMENT” no thanks just tell me what to do you’re the boss… or you want ME to take RESPONSIBILITY, or again ‘no thanks that’s too scary ANYWAY IT’S NEVER MY FAULT’.

Assuming we are good at the technical, human, conceptual/evaluative and cultural parts of our traditional management role how can we ensure we breakthrough the pack of average and/or even effective managers and become a SUCCESSFUL manager. When I say successful I mean how fast we are promoted through our organisation.

Two issues are critical. Firstly, if you look around any organisation it doesn’t take long to realise that successful people don’t get paid because they work hard (although most do), they get paid for taking responsibility, that’s where the money is, in being prepared to take responsibility for outcomes and selling our organization on our competence and willingness do what has to be done.

Secondly, a study some years ago conducted by “Luthans, Hodgetts & Rosenkrantz” on Effective v’s Successful managers shows (amongst other things) the interesting statistic that successful managers spend 48% of their time ‘networking’, while average managers spend 19% and effective managers spend 11%. So socialising & politicking and forming bonds of trust both inside and outside our organization will have a profound effect on our trip up (or down) the proverbial ‘greasy pole’.

‘IT’S HARD TO REMEMBER YOUR TASK WAS TO DRAIN THE SWAMP WHEN YOU’RE UP TO YOUR BACKSIDE IN CROCODILES’ (author unknown)

SO WHY BE A MANAGER AND WHAT DO YOU GET?

Status, Power, Monetary Rewards, Personal Satisfaction

WHAT ABOUT THE DOWNSIDE?

Loneliness, often no immediate feedback, the burden of responsibility for outcomes, lack of control as you need to rely on others, someone is always looking to take your position, an increased need for political savvy and sometimes onerous legal responsibilities and regulatory restrictions.

If you would like to read more about management and what’s involved here is the link for direct page viewers return to main blog pagecareer success to check out other posts!

If you are looking to move into a management position you may (will) need to update your resume with the appropriate management skills listed so take a look at the free blank resume form!

Finally before you decide to take on a management role best think long and hard about what you want for your career and the costs your striving for ‘success’ may bring.

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Posted in career advice, career change, career survival, choosing managers, employment, leader selection, leadership, management, management leadership, success | No Comments »

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