I have recently been engaged in building and promoting a website for a local Rotary Club. To raise funds for the club it was decided to “monetize” the site by offering advertising space to local businesses in the area. The club is located in a small to medium country town with most businesses reportedly “doing it a bit tough”. Surveying the area with at least an outward walk-by survey suggests that some business are traveling, on appearances, reasonably well.
The approach to selling the ads on site was to visit each business personally and ask if they would place an ad. Some success was quickly achieved and a number of advertisers came on board. Now the site being both fairly new and by its charity nature cannot and will not boast masses of visitors. The members of the club however will tend to support the businesses that support them, that’s just human nature. Additionally of course some advertisers view it as good PR to support a local charity and will see the cost of their ad as a donation to a worthy cause.
So what about the no. A number of businesses approached used the old “send me a proposal” fudge to get me out of their face. Now that’s fine I am happy to go back write an email to thank them for their time, thank them for seeing me and thank them for considering advertising and for looking at my proposal. It would however save me a lot of time if they just said “no” on the spot.
So now as a seller and more to the point a potential ‘real’ business customer, my feeling towards those businesses is a little negative. One business said no immediately and although we had used his services for a long time and was a little annoyed, at least he did not suck up extra energy by stringing me along by asking for a proposal. He just stated honestly he was “fully committed at the moment” and could not participate. It is worth noting, I am not talking big money here, the advertising space is only $10..00 per week on the index page and $5 a week on the ancillary pages.
This brings me back to the four other businesses which said, send me the submission. Some three weeks later I have not had a response from any of the four. I feel abused and angry at the discourtesy of these business people and will not do business with them in the future. I will also discourage others to avoid them as well. Who knows why these particular people couldn’t say NO, however in doing as they did they have, at least with me and those I can influence, destroyed their reputation and any chance of commercial dealings in the future.
So why don’t people say no?
According to authors James Rapson and Craig Enlish who wrote “Anxious to Please” many individuals are: “people pleasures” by nature.
They state:
“People pleasers are driven by anxiety to be nice whether it’s called for or not. People pleasers are nice even when they’re being ignored or insulted. People pleasers navigate their world by accommodating and acquiescing, by trying to please.”
They also importantly advise:
“What is the result of their can’t say no, “peace at any price” behavior? The opposite of what they hoped for— disapproval, conflict, and rejection.” This outcome of their behavior is I believe well deserved. People pleasers are obviously also conflict avoiders and to my way of thinking somewhat cowardly in their dealings with others. None of us like a no however, most of us absolutely hate being ignored and forgotten.
So what’s the lesson? If you can’t do something, suck it up and just say NO. Wasting the time of others through fobbing them off with a “send me a proposal” tactic is crass and un-businesslike. Making a bad situation worse by then just ignoring the asker/seller is a great way to destroy your reputation and credibility and you WILL deserve all the negatives that result,
