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I guess we would all prefer be “sold rather than told” however sometimes if we need to co-opt the assistance of others we just don’t have the time to influence by negotiation or to engender enthusiasm for an idea or work goal.

Often when the pressure to produce is on, the only option is to clearly state our expectations and get on with it.

These situations are often related to issues where valid actions or processes need to be undertaken or changed where there is no room to debate or negotiate, particularly as they relate to rules, policies, the law or even the greater good of the organization. They also occur as delivery deadlines approach or customer satisfaction or retention is critical and under threat.

So how do you most effectively go about stating your expectations?

Firstly it seems to work best if you start out by listening to the person you need to influence and make sure you fully understand their point of view before you restate your own expectation when instructions were not accepted in the first instance. It will always be beneficial to indicate that your mind is not closed to another’s views, however there are times where, even if commitment is preferred, you will need to settle for compliance. Important point: Whilst actively listening to another’s point of view don’t “cop out” by raising false hopes of compromise or negotiation or these will come back and bite you at a later date.

To make it stick outline the resulting incentives or disincentives if the other person will not meet your needs

Since this is influence gained through ‘coercive’ or ‘position’ power, the other person may only be influenced to comply because it is worth their while to do so. You should only use the threat of sanctions if it is clear that the need being outlined or actions being requested will not be met by any other method.

Important point: If you constantly use this method of influence to get things done you will be seen as a weak autocrat. Just as importantly if you do not use this tactic (and many seem to avoid it) and let results suffer you will merely be seen as weak or a pushover. Remember when or others demand that we conform to their instructions we feel oppressed and victimized and ultimately we will become resentful. This influencing tactic should to be used sparingly and perhaps only as a last resort.

Your expectations not being met in your current job? Take a look at the free blank resume form and perhaps you can find somewhere more willing to accommodate you!

Finally a very very important point: If you threaten sanctions or offer rewards carry out on your threats or offers or your followers (staff) will become totally unmanageable and you will need to move on and the resume form above may become more than just and option and more of an essential.

At work there are many different situations where you need to influence others particularly as a manager or leader. So which influence strategy is most appropriate in each situation. Here is a quick basic checklist.

Situation

• There are conflicting views or needs between you and others

• There is a genuine opportunity for give and take for mutual benefit

• Is this likely to be a relatively non-emotional situation

• You have the power to offer rewards and punishments

Strategy: Negotiate win-win outcomes

Situation

• Common purpose cannot be seen or is missing in this situation

• Others lack enthusiasm or understanding of what you need to be done

• Commitment is critical to the success of your influence objective

• Your influence objective has the capacity see see a better future

Strategy: Paint a verbal picture (see earlier post!)

Situation

• You have an undeniable and valid need in this situation

• Is it reasonable that the other person could meet this need

• Compliance more important than commitment in this situation

• You have legitimate authority to act

Strategy: State expectations

Before I go on…

Direct page viewers can go to main blog to check out other posts by clicking on the white “orglearn.org” in the header panel above!

If you think you don’t have enough influence at work and need to seek a place of greater scope take a look at the free resume form!

To continue…

Situation

• Others involved are other rational about this situation

• You are non-emotional and businesslike about this situation

• You hold valid facts and/or data to support your position

• Those who you wish to influence understand work ramifications

Strategy: Convince with logic

Sure situations are never purely one or the other however if you think about your situation and the other players, a correct mix of influencing strategies should improve your chances of obtaining successful outcomes.

One of the most underutilized communication skills during the influencing process seems to me to be the valuable skill of painting a verbal picture. The idea for the influencer with this technique is to engender enthusiasm for a course of action or point of view by ‘painting a picture’ of a desired future state.

This skill is particularly handy for influencing where a common purpose, vision or another’s enthusiasm is missing, poor commitment levels are evident, “ho hum” attitudes exist or desired behaviors (required for success in a task) are not being demonstrated.

So how can we use this skill to influence others and what are the behaviors we need to adopt to use it effectively?

Firstly we must show appropriate enthusiasm

Share your own enthusiasm through your voice, intonation and body language when selling the benefits of the desired course of action for the individual you are trying to involve. If you just stand up and factually state what you want things to look like or outcomes you are seeking in a formal boring tone you satisfactory or inspiring picture will be created.

Paint a verbal picture of the future using descriptive language

Much as you would develop a corporate or private ‘vision’ you need to paint a picture of how where you and the other person will be or what things would look like and how much better they would be, especially for the individual involved if he/she (or they) comply, or better still commit, to what you are proposing.

Be brief or “broad brush” about your vision and don’t get bogged down in the details

Exactly how things will be done or the details can come once commitment has been obtained. Others are more likely to be enthusiastic about a ‘broad brush’ or ‘big picture’ ideas about a more satisfying future. I have seen this proven many times when conducting company vision sessions, great enthusiasm until the detailed WORK has to be done. So details should only be approached when “buy-in” is truly achieved.

Include the person you are trying to influence in the picture

Find out what benefits or situations are of interest to the other person by asking questions and carefully listening to the answers. Find out how you can align your desired future state with their aspirations and desires. Focus specifically on how they could contribute or become involved. Ask questions such as, what interests or excites them about the future and how they can see it contributes to their future.

If you would like to read other blog articles by Ric and you came direct to this page you can go to main blog by clicking on the white “orglearn.org” in the header panel above!

While you’re here if you can’t align your vision of the future with your current employer take a look at the free blank resume form and perhaps to paint a new future for yourself by following the link!

I recently read a great quote that I feel is appropriate here:

“The empires of the future are empires of the mind.” – Winston Churchill

Finally according to Marty Latz of the Negotiator Magazine: “Our tendency to be unduly influenced by such visual, emotional and flashy language (essentially verbal pictures) and to be less influenced by dull, statistical evidence, is called vividness bias.” So want to be influential and have people buy into you propositions? Perhaps this summary will help:

Enthusiastically communicating using descriptive language to paint a verbal picture of a desired future and placing the other person in the picture will help you to influence others to your vision.

A number or organizations I have consulted/worked for have tended to appoint the most technically competent staff member to the role of manager. If this procedure is followed often the best salesperson (as an example) will become the sales manager. The downside risk of this approach alone is that you can lose your best salesperson and gain a lousy manager/leader. So what attributes do you look for to head a department, particularly when you are promoting from within.

According to Bobby Borg of getsigned.com “the most important qualities to look for in a manager are; in addition to being powerful, well-connected, a good negotiator, enthusiastic, committed and accessible, a good manager should be one who over-all inspires your trust and respect”.

Steve Aston commenting on hbswk.hbs.edu suggests picking individuals (managers/leaders) that have “a vision” who have “learned to engage people” and possessed of a great deal of “political savvy” who ‘know how to pay attention to, neutralize and/or convert these [political] forces quietly, ethically and effectively’. Finally he says leaders need to be able to “manage a healthy tension between patience and a ’sense of urgency’”.

Well that all sounds great on paper and perhaps you can test for those qualities or recognize them over time. Some of the more “top of the behavioral pyramid” observable traits that I believe can help and you could look for are:

– those who regularly tell others what they are doing and the results they have achieved on behalf of the company. I know they can be seen as braggers however better this sort, than the ones who are grumbling about the problems or spending there time explaining why things can’t happen based on their professional ‘competence’

- those that seem to be able get their workmates to help out when things need to get done, the characters that say ‘hey lets stay on and finish this off together’ and that don’t bad mouth others or complain about workmates

- those who are willing to be in the spotlight… you know… the types that volunteer to plan a company event or activity or that will give presentations to other employees

- those with a good network, they know ‘everybody,’ the sort of person you instinctively go to, to ask… do you know anyone that can get me a left handed widget for my ‘whats-it-thingo’

- those that finish tasks on time without sacrificing quality or wasting resources

- those that seem to make others feel good about themselves, the types that say, ‘he’s a good guy’ or ‘she’s a great help’ and that are comfortable paying compliments to others

- those that can sell the ‘no’ or a different point of view with tact and still maintain relationships by knowing what is common ground and strengthening that, rather than accentuating differences

- those that solve problems in imaginative ways and through negotiation rather than the ones that come to your office and say, ‘this is a foul up what do we do now’!

- those that listen and show they are listening and can communicate their ideas and thoughts effectively

Now you may see the above points as a little less serious than the more formal and recognized approaches however experience shows that often those that do demonstrate the traits above are also the natural leaders.

Finally Adrian Grigoriu also commenting on hbswk.hbs.edu/item/6103.html says:

“It is generally accepted that business management is about organization, control, planning and budgeting. Leadership is thought to be about motivation, mobilization, creating the vision and establishing culture. It demands charisma, the quality of an individual to attract followers for a specific endeavor by inspiring trust and respect . This comes from experience, education, leading by example and natural abilities such as self confidence and emotional control (EQ) to reassure and be credible.”

So can I suggest if you are gazing out at your staff compliment and wondering which is the best technical expert that you should make your next department head, before you decide, think about the above points and just maybe one of the lesser technicians is your best choice as the leader/manager.

To start at the blunt end of communication problems obviously if a relationship with others is desired it will be very difficult if the other party uses a tactic of total withdrawal by refusing to engage in any interpersonal contact. This is a blatant act that is easy to recognize and can be virtually impossible to overcome. There are however many other less obvious indications that reveal that our interpersonal communication or efforts to form relationships with others are not succeeding.

Many connections or interactions are not much more than rituals which are just “meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact”. If you find that each interaction with another individual always seems to be nothing more than a polite conversation that is just following an almost rehearsed script you are obviously not really communicating or building a relationship. These situations are often built around “pastimes that fill up time with others in social, however superficial activities”. A more dangerous scenario is when these ritualized interactions become the sum total of our ‘working activities with all tasks strictly following the rules and procedures of contact and nothing more’.

As humans are political animals by nature there will always be the risk (or opportunity) for the communicators to be plying games which are usually “subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing”. If those around you are engaging in game playing fruitful communication and the chances to build any meaningful “closeness” is unlikely.

Maybe your communication problems are in part due to your body language or your facial expressions however they are topics for another day.

So where do you start to build your skill to become a more effective communicator. I still find that if you can be brutally honest with yourself  a reflection on how you behave with others based on the old however still valid JOHARI WINDOW model can give you some insights. A better road if you can stand it is to have your friends or colleagues assess you based on the model.

For a quick look at your style are you fond of using any of the following tactics during interactions with others?

1. Attacking -interrogating, criticizing, blaming, shaming or scoffing

2. Being overly reliant on “You Messages” – moralizing, preaching, advising, diagnosing or talking about you and what you have done or achieved.

3. Showing your actual or perceived power with most your communication taking the form of orders, threats, commands or giving directives

4. Falling victim to other verbal barriers can including poor use of tone, shouting, name calling, verbal abuse, berating or even pouting and refusing to speak.

We need to remember that if any of these undesirable verbal tactics are used trust will be lost and no real interpersonal relationships will be formed.

Before I finish direct page viewers can go to main blog to check out other posts by clicking on the white “orglearn.org” in the header panel above!

While you’re here take a look at the free blank resume form!

Finally: For effective communication to occur it must be two way, involve active listening, ‘reflect the accountability of speaker and listener’, utilize feedback, be free of stress and of course be clear and concise. The basic requirement for good communication is perhaps to develop a “closeness” with others that is built on open communication, mutual respect and above all trust.

refs:

wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_overcome_communication_barriers

www.coachingachievement.co.uk/overcoming_communication_barriers

Expert power

Expert power is based on the specialized knowledge or skills that an individual has which can be contributed or withheld. Generally, individuals are positive about being lead, or at least influenced, by those whom they regard as ‘an expert’. This form of power is “comparative” and the holder of this type of power is always under threat from other “experts”. Expert power is often based around a very narrow bank of knowledge, skills or competence and can be short lived as time passes and technology or techniques evolve. It is a reality that someone will always come along who knows more than you do in a particular area.

Connection or as I was taught it “referent” power:

Referent power comes about as a result of an individuals ability to control or use access to influential people through formal networks or associations. Additionally as people/employees increasingly extend their circle of influence or information sources through involvement in informal networks their power can increase. Networks and hierarchies that operate independently of more formal organizational structures can often compete with, or even be more influential than the official company structure.

Personal power or personal attractiveness

This type of power results from an individual’s own personal qualities or ‘charisma’.  People will often undertake a particular action or behave in particulars ways because they admire and like the individual holding the power. Some believe that this type o power is built up through “being reliable, trustworthy, honest and likeable”. This view is obviously limited in its explanation as charisma and what it is is not something that automatically comes with behavior alone. The personal attractiveness part of this equation can also obviously be lost as we age or as our ability to attract others through ‘positive’ personality may be diminished. Suffice to say if you want to develop this type of power in yourself you will need to do the best you can with how you look, present yourself, personal confidence levels, how well you communicate and your natural personal traits.

So what is power about and what are the benefits and pitfalls

According to Richard Petty, professor of psychology at Ohio State University and co-author of a study on power:  “Powerful people have confidence in what they are thinking. Whether their thoughts are positive or negative toward an idea, that position is going to be hard to change,” This of course can be both a benefit and a shortcoming and you, if you hold power, can risk missing opportunities to grow and develop through the arrogance of total self-belief.

Abraham Lincoln said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” So if you seek power, beware of the almost inevitable personal consequences to your thought processes and even your very existence.

Amy Tan “You see what power is – holding someone else’s fear in your hand and showing it to them!” Reality succinctly put perhaps!

I was once told that: ‘for power to exist you must have control over something that is limited in supply and that considered valuable by those over whom you want hold power’. This as we have seen above can be technical skills, information or even a willingness to have an ongoing relationship.

So if you are seeking power be advised you must develop all five areas otherwise your time in control will be but a fleeting moment and the process of losing power can be a terminal event.

Information or communication power

This power is derived from being able to control the flow of information, or to be able to edit and be selective about what is passed on. “The information may be horizontal, to be shared with colleagues, or vertical, to be passed up or down through a formal organizational structure”.  This type of power is often linked with position power, however those with little formal authority, clerks, secretaries and receptionists, can exert information power. I have seen customer and supplier files withheld or even destroyed by individuals that were under operational pressure in an attempt to stave off the control of a situation which was threatening to staff that were acting in an unethical manner.

Perhaps at this point we should define power

DEFINITION

The ability of a person or group to influence the thoughts or behavior of another person or group, so that he/she or they do something they would not otherwise do, assuming that the recipients of the power have some personal discretion over what they do.

With this definition we can see why communication abilities and control of information is so important to holding power

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Formal, legitimate, delegated, authority or position power

This form of power comes from an individual’s designated role and the role’s relative status within the organization. Commonly this power entails the right to organize people and resources. As this form power is conferred by the organization if the position or role is lost so is the power. At its worst this can manifest itself as negative power as the holder has the capacity to stop, delay or disrupt the actions of others. This negative power usually used by those that feel they have no other source of control and is an often expression of anger, frustration, low morale or poor self esteem. A similar form of formal power is sometimes known a sanction power or reward – coercion power. This covers an individual’s capability to use incentives or issue threats to control people’s behavior. Rewards are offered to those who comply and punishment or deprivation threatened for non-compliance. This power can be demonstrated as naked aggression or more indirectly as pressure exerted through the threat of or actual removal of status, privileges or even financial rewards.

Expert power

Expert power is based on the specialized knowledge or skills that an individual has which can be contributed or withheld. Generally, individuals are positive about being lead, or at least influenced, by those whom they regard as ‘an expert’. This form of power is “comparative” and the holder of this type of power is always under threat from other “experts”. Expert power is often based around a very narrow bank of knowledge, skills or competence and can be short lived as time passes and technology or techniques evolve. It is a reality that someone will always come along who knows more than you do in a particular area.

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